Mind Boggling Coaching
So, as my son was wont to say: "What keeps you from falling back on the old hard-wiring?" It's not difficult to fall back. The wiring is still there. That is why anchoring, regular feedback and support and delayed feedback are so important. This is usually where coaching fits in nicely.The good news is pretty amazing. Remember in the first issue I stated that the neurons we don't use get eventually weeded out and removed by the brain? Well that is pretty much what happens. If you stick with the new map, and nurture and pay attention to it the brain weeds it out. In it's desire to cut down on competition for resources it does damage control and removes the unused portions.The role of the coach is pretty straight forward if any of this stuff means anything to you.1. Never give advice or solutionsI could never, in a million years, imagine what might be going on in your head and what would work for you. So what works for me and everyone else just ain't gonna work for you in the same way.2. Ask the right questionsDavid Rock's book is pretty straight forward on what questions to ask and when. They also tell you what you need to know to go on to the next step:creating an space where inspiration can occur then nurture it with dedication.I used to think that asking thinking questions so much would get people thinking I was crazy.Ah nope. People never get tired about being asked what they think. As I said before the brain LOVES a problem.3. Goal setting and supportYes setting goals is pretty darn important. Its a way to anchor and build in opportunities for delayed feedback.I once had a client say, "Oh Good! You can hold me accountable to this. Uh no. It's about you keeping it in your working memory and holding YOURSELF accountable. It's about creating and being responsible for your own hard-wiring. You can TELL me how it worked out but it's up to you to make it succeed.4. ResourcesI have Tons of resources for you to use. You can look at them and create what would work for you. Or they may create another insisght or moment of inspiration for you.Maybe you just don't have an idea about how to do something. Then resources are there for you to pick and choose from or again cause more inspiration.The only thing I ever strongly recommend, is to journal. It's one of the most powerful ways I know to keep an inspirational moment alive on a daily basis. Then you have a documented piece of that "moment it hit me".
Showing posts with label inspiration. Show all posts
Showing posts with label inspiration. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Mind Boggling Discoveres - Issue 1
Here are some things you might not have known.Did you know that when you are born you have all the neural maps set up in your brain? There are general locations like downtown (emotions), communities (senses) and urban areas (behaviour and body functions). They move if there is damage - say if you're in a war and someone bombs downtown. It's not quite the same but it functions.Since there aren't any street signs yet you get to name as you need them. So the first time you are touched, as a baby, you KNOW you are touched. You haven't quite figured out where. You now have an address called "Body Touch". The 2nd and 3rd touch leads you to stick an address right on the house - Let's call it "I was touched on my hand". Every touch thereafter is networked around the first time you were touched. Not only where, but how often, HOW you were touched, the temperature and trillions of other little things you associate with touch.Up until the age of 4 when children suffers strokes or brain injury, which results in physically changing the brain, a child can almost completely recover and re-route almost everything to another section of the brain. Suburbia look out. Some children have been known to lose half their brain and still function.After that age it becomes less agile and easier to do the re-routing. But it is still possible.Another reason they call kids brains "sponges". The child is constantly adding addresses to their neural maps and making interconnections. It comes very easily to them and they don't have to even think about it. Ha Ha - get it?These maps, once created are almost - yes I said almost - impossible to remove. The most effective way to change behaviour is to just change the map. So does it works to keep saying "NO! Don't do that!" Nope. But it is very effective to offer the child something else to do or divert them. You are creating a new map.Groups like La Leche League have always been huge believers in this type of "discipline" or whatever you want to call it. They also believe that offering choices as a diversion is incredibly powerful.And this feeds into the next step of neural maps. These maps REALLY WORK WELL, if the individual has created the new map. This means, they take what they know or what is in front of them and decide what will work best for them. That is why diversion by choice is so effective. Instead of TELLING a child what to do they are given a choice, think about which will interest and excite.
Here are some things you might not have known.Did you know that when you are born you have all the neural maps set up in your brain? There are general locations like downtown (emotions), communities (senses) and urban areas (behaviour and body functions). They move if there is damage - say if you're in a war and someone bombs downtown. It's not quite the same but it functions.Since there aren't any street signs yet you get to name as you need them. So the first time you are touched, as a baby, you KNOW you are touched. You haven't quite figured out where. You now have an address called "Body Touch". The 2nd and 3rd touch leads you to stick an address right on the house - Let's call it "I was touched on my hand". Every touch thereafter is networked around the first time you were touched. Not only where, but how often, HOW you were touched, the temperature and trillions of other little things you associate with touch.Up until the age of 4 when children suffers strokes or brain injury, which results in physically changing the brain, a child can almost completely recover and re-route almost everything to another section of the brain. Suburbia look out. Some children have been known to lose half their brain and still function.After that age it becomes less agile and easier to do the re-routing. But it is still possible.Another reason they call kids brains "sponges". The child is constantly adding addresses to their neural maps and making interconnections. It comes very easily to them and they don't have to even think about it. Ha Ha - get it?These maps, once created are almost - yes I said almost - impossible to remove. The most effective way to change behaviour is to just change the map. So does it works to keep saying "NO! Don't do that!" Nope. But it is very effective to offer the child something else to do or divert them. You are creating a new map.Groups like La Leche League have always been huge believers in this type of "discipline" or whatever you want to call it. They also believe that offering choices as a diversion is incredibly powerful.And this feeds into the next step of neural maps. These maps REALLY WORK WELL, if the individual has created the new map. This means, they take what they know or what is in front of them and decide what will work best for them. That is why diversion by choice is so effective. Instead of TELLING a child what to do they are given a choice, think about which will interest and excite.
Friday, January 19, 2007
Workplace Gap
In your workplace, are you a manager with a smart group of people and they aren't responsive to your ideas or suggestions? If you are then you are experiencing a workplace gap
You know where you are at this point in your life but there is a gap between where you are and where you want to be? Sometimes the presence of this gap is so strong you can almost feel like a physical gap. In the case of a workplace gap, the feeling can be just as tangible. You know the people you have working for you are smart and resourceful. That is why you hired them in the first place. But for some reason you can’t seem to “manage” them. They run into difficulties and you don’t know how to help them. When you try, they seem distant, frustrated and just a bit annoyed that you are “bugging”them. You can't seem to move them from Point A to Point B. There is a gap at the workplace and you are stuck in the middle of it.
You gathered all sorts information, knowledge, skills and tools throughout the years to help you out with this. You took courses, asked a mentor and perhaps even have a degree in some area. It’s as if you were given all the information of a particular culture, went for a visit and found out that you ended up in the wrong country. When did all the rules changes?
I personally believe that the role of the manager has completely shifted and changed with the explosion of available knowledge. Anyone can access any information they need to do whatever they want. Sometimes this is a good thing and sometimes this is not so good.
Let’s take a look at the “good” part. I’m here to tell you, that your role as a manager has changed drastically. So much has changed that to even call yourself a manager is a huge misnomer. I’ve coached several people to the point where they eventually say, “Well really, I’m not a manager anymore, am I.” And of course they are right. If anyone can get any information to do what they need and want to do, do they even need a manager? I think they need a leader in the workplace. Not just any leader either. There are lots of models out there of what a leader is and hers/his characteristics. I believe, in the workplace there is only one thing a leader needs to do and that is create an atmosphere of inspiration.
What would it be like to work in a place where the staff comes in to the office and they are excited, inspired and motivated to make things work? What would it be like to be the leader of such a group? How would your day go and what would you do?
The first thing you need to know, as a leader, is that all you have to do is ask the right questions. The right questions are the ones that cause inspiration and excitement in your staff. This means you no longer have to think up the answers of how to solve their problems. You hired these people because the ARE smart. They already know the answers to most of the places where they get stuck. When you ask the right questions it gives them the power to come up with their own answers.
How does it feel when you know you need to talk to an employee about performance? Not a pleasant feeling. You might end up telling them they are falling behind and guess what? They already know that. You might end up suggesting a few ways to deal with the problem and guess what? If they are as smart as you say they are they probably already know all this, might have tried it and it doesn’t work. Can you feel the annoyance and frustration building up? I’m not even there and I can feel the tension.
Or you might suggest something and you can tell by their response that they “just aren’t buying it” as a solution to what the problem is. Again there is tension. Again it hasn’t resolved anything but has created a source of conflict.
What if you ask the right question, and there is a pause followed by, “Yes, but I don’t know what to do about that?” Then and only then its okay to offer a suggestion and when you offer it be prepared. Because they might not like the method exactly as you suggested OR you might have sent them off on a search to find their own answer. Or better yet they might even create a whole new solution to the problem. Can you feel the difference in the atmosphere? There’s a tension there but it’s a good and exciting tension. This kind of tension is inspiration and inspiration is all they need to feel motivated and to create a sense of flow in the solution.
So my questions to you are:
1) How often do you feel this tension, as a manager
2) How important to you, is it, that you change this?
3) How committed to a change are you?
If any of these questions causes a slight rise in your breathing and you start to feel a glow of excitement, I might’ve just asked you the right questions.
In your workplace, are you a manager with a smart group of people and they aren't responsive to your ideas or suggestions? If you are then you are experiencing a workplace gap
You know where you are at this point in your life but there is a gap between where you are and where you want to be? Sometimes the presence of this gap is so strong you can almost feel like a physical gap. In the case of a workplace gap, the feeling can be just as tangible. You know the people you have working for you are smart and resourceful. That is why you hired them in the first place. But for some reason you can’t seem to “manage” them. They run into difficulties and you don’t know how to help them. When you try, they seem distant, frustrated and just a bit annoyed that you are “bugging”them. You can't seem to move them from Point A to Point B. There is a gap at the workplace and you are stuck in the middle of it.
You gathered all sorts information, knowledge, skills and tools throughout the years to help you out with this. You took courses, asked a mentor and perhaps even have a degree in some area. It’s as if you were given all the information of a particular culture, went for a visit and found out that you ended up in the wrong country. When did all the rules changes?
I personally believe that the role of the manager has completely shifted and changed with the explosion of available knowledge. Anyone can access any information they need to do whatever they want. Sometimes this is a good thing and sometimes this is not so good.
Let’s take a look at the “good” part. I’m here to tell you, that your role as a manager has changed drastically. So much has changed that to even call yourself a manager is a huge misnomer. I’ve coached several people to the point where they eventually say, “Well really, I’m not a manager anymore, am I.” And of course they are right. If anyone can get any information to do what they need and want to do, do they even need a manager? I think they need a leader in the workplace. Not just any leader either. There are lots of models out there of what a leader is and hers/his characteristics. I believe, in the workplace there is only one thing a leader needs to do and that is create an atmosphere of inspiration.
What would it be like to work in a place where the staff comes in to the office and they are excited, inspired and motivated to make things work? What would it be like to be the leader of such a group? How would your day go and what would you do?
The first thing you need to know, as a leader, is that all you have to do is ask the right questions. The right questions are the ones that cause inspiration and excitement in your staff. This means you no longer have to think up the answers of how to solve their problems. You hired these people because the ARE smart. They already know the answers to most of the places where they get stuck. When you ask the right questions it gives them the power to come up with their own answers.
How does it feel when you know you need to talk to an employee about performance? Not a pleasant feeling. You might end up telling them they are falling behind and guess what? They already know that. You might end up suggesting a few ways to deal with the problem and guess what? If they are as smart as you say they are they probably already know all this, might have tried it and it doesn’t work. Can you feel the annoyance and frustration building up? I’m not even there and I can feel the tension.
Or you might suggest something and you can tell by their response that they “just aren’t buying it” as a solution to what the problem is. Again there is tension. Again it hasn’t resolved anything but has created a source of conflict.
What if you ask the right question, and there is a pause followed by, “Yes, but I don’t know what to do about that?” Then and only then its okay to offer a suggestion and when you offer it be prepared. Because they might not like the method exactly as you suggested OR you might have sent them off on a search to find their own answer. Or better yet they might even create a whole new solution to the problem. Can you feel the difference in the atmosphere? There’s a tension there but it’s a good and exciting tension. This kind of tension is inspiration and inspiration is all they need to feel motivated and to create a sense of flow in the solution.
So my questions to you are:
1) How often do you feel this tension, as a manager
2) How important to you, is it, that you change this?
3) How committed to a change are you?
If any of these questions causes a slight rise in your breathing and you start to feel a glow of excitement, I might’ve just asked you the right questions.
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