Wednesday, June 30, 2010

I'm always on the lookout for ways to expand my brain and have me think in new ways. This summer was no exception.

I was referred to a book called, "The Girls from Ames". It inspired me, to say the least.

I was at first jealous when I read about the relationship between all these women, from girlhood to adulthood. The connections are strong and have been forged through all the years of joys, heartache, trials and successes.


But it took this book to make me realize that, I too, have similar relationships. Like these woman, we all met when we were young, in fact from birth. We all grew up through the years, keep in contact and quite often meet to share, reminisce, laugh and cry.


Like the women in the book, we are often in weekly and sometimes daily contact. The girls from Ames looked to each other for support, comfort and acknowledgement. My group of close friends are the same. The only difference is, I am related to the women in my life. The women who make my close knit circle are my sisters.


I am so glad I read this book to make me realize and appreciate the friendship that has been there all along. It took a heartfelt and enjoyable book, like this to wake me up to the treasure I had in my own life.


There are funny moments, sad moments and excruciating moments in this book. It will make you laugh out loud and silently look through blurry eyes of tears. Good summer read for the women in this world. We need books like this to affirm what we have always known: women know how to create, nurture and sustain powerful relationships.... they are our lifeblood.


Thursday, August 14, 2008

NO SUCH THING AS IRRESPONSIBILITY
I was coaching a client of mine when I came up against this comment. It was in connection to “fun” or “having fun” and “irresponsibility”. I’m not sure why it is, but as adults, we tend to link those two words together. As we grow up we believe that to have “fun” means being “irresponsible”. I think the adult population of the world is in dire need of a break from seriousness in the form of FUN.

I was curious to see what the difference in definition was so I looked it up and found that my dictionary stated that irresponsible was: lack of someone being in charge, having no authority, no accountability. Then I was intrigued to see what the definition of fun was. It was not listed in my dictionary. I started to giggle as I realized the significance of that.

In a world fraught with seriousness my own dictionary did not see fit to have the definition of fun. I was quite intrigued by now, so I asked my local speaking group, if they thought there was no such thing as irresponsibility and if fun was being given a bad name.

They all felt that irresponsibility was being unaccountable but that fun was not the replacement for it. Which is quite strange but amusing, when you realize I didn't really ask them what fun could replace . I persisted and asked how they would define fun. I was brushed off and they all replied, “Well you know… don’t ask such a silly (irresponsible) question.”

I believe as we become older we decide that to even have fun is irresponsible. Someone has to be in charge, someone has to have authority and most definitely someone has to be accountable. Do we take turns at this? Is there a fight over who’s the boss? In our rush, as adults, to be responsible did we throw “fun” out the window with the proverbial bath water? I didn’t understand why the two could not co-exist in a world of adults.

I know that fun is important to me. I know that with a handicapped child I’m very lucky. I get to play whenever I want with my child-like son and no one is the wiser. Was I supposed to share this secret? Was I being irresponsible by not sharing this? Nope, I always had too much fun to worry about what others were thinking. I suppose that meant I was in charge but it never felt that way.

I know that a lot of times my friends knew exactly how to get me involved in what they were doing. There were plans to go somewhere or do something. There would be much cajoling and begging.

“Come on Maureen, it’ll be a lot of fun and if it isn’t fun right away, you will know how to make it that way.” Did this mean I was responsible for making things fun? Now wasn’t that a bizarre position to be in. Imagine me being responsible, in charge of and the authority on fun. Would I be completely irresponsible if I didn’t respond or become accountable for the fun that was happening? I was baffled why it was me in charge of the fun department.

I think that in our rush to become responsible wage earners, parents, family members and business people we lost track of what brought meaning to life. What was the point of all that work if there is no fun? How responsible and accountable was that?

All I know is: I’m tired of being responsible, in charge and accountable for the fun that happens with the other people in my life. I’m going to be completely responsible and be only in charge of the fun in MY life.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Mind Boggling Coaching
So, as my son was wont to say: "What keeps you from falling back on the old hard-wiring?" It's not difficult to fall back. The wiring is still there. That is why anchoring, regular feedback and support and delayed feedback are so important. This is usually where coaching fits in nicely.The good news is pretty amazing. Remember in the first issue I stated that the neurons we don't use get eventually weeded out and removed by the brain? Well that is pretty much what happens. If you stick with the new map, and nurture and pay attention to it the brain weeds it out. In it's desire to cut down on competition for resources it does damage control and removes the unused portions.The role of the coach is pretty straight forward if any of this stuff means anything to you.1. Never give advice or solutionsI could never, in a million years, imagine what might be going on in your head and what would work for you. So what works for me and everyone else just ain't gonna work for you in the same way.2. Ask the right questionsDavid Rock's book is pretty straight forward on what questions to ask and when. They also tell you what you need to know to go on to the next step:creating an space where inspiration can occur then nurture it with dedication.I used to think that asking thinking questions so much would get people thinking I was crazy.Ah nope. People never get tired about being asked what they think. As I said before the brain LOVES a problem.3. Goal setting and supportYes setting goals is pretty darn important. Its a way to anchor and build in opportunities for delayed feedback.I once had a client say, "Oh Good! You can hold me accountable to this. Uh no. It's about you keeping it in your working memory and holding YOURSELF accountable. It's about creating and being responsible for your own hard-wiring. You can TELL me how it worked out but it's up to you to make it succeed.4. ResourcesI have Tons of resources for you to use. You can look at them and create what would work for you. Or they may create another insisght or moment of inspiration for you.Maybe you just don't have an idea about how to do something. Then resources are there for you to pick and choose from or again cause more inspiration.The only thing I ever strongly recommend, is to journal. It's one of the most powerful ways I know to keep an inspirational moment alive on a daily basis. Then you have a documented piece of that "moment it hit me".
Mind Boggling Discoveries - Issue 4

So how does this all connect? LOLWell this angst is what drives us to create new maps. It's what causes us to seek to better ourselve and perhaps start looking for someone like myself: a Professional Coach.So what needs to be done? Well the first step is to become mindfully aware (this is where the meditation info fits in) of what it is we are experiencing. It's not the end of the world but a drive to do some new mapping.As a coach I get to ask the questions that focusses you on what really IS the problem. What REALLY is this angst all about.Do I need to know the details? As David Rock is fond of writing: Interesting but not very useful. The only one who needs to be the "keeper of the details" is you. Remember? Focussing on the hardwiring (the details) only embeds it all deeper.My job is to lead you to the moment where inspiration will occur to you. I can see and hear when this moment is about to happen. You pause, your eyes move upward, you might sigh or go hmmmm then wham you get that new connection and the energy blast that goes with it. It might be as mild as: Hmmm I never thought of it that way. Or it can be as dramatic as OMG!Because attention is a powerful aspect of perception I will focus on that moment. It will get nurtured and talked about until it is firmly anchored in your maps, firmly networked.And I can spend the rest of the time creating ways to build even more networks. I don't even have to be there. I can create attention by asking you to take a step in that direction and then telling me what happened the next week we get together (delayed feedback - ever heard of that?). The delayed feedback requires the client to constantly have the new map in their current working memory. And remember visual is faster and takes up less space.All it takes, to firmly anchor new hard-wiring, is 30 seconds of attention to it and the AHA feeling only lasts up to an hour. So that initial time up to and after an insight or inspiration are critical.This is where building goals and offering support are so important. Support needs to be positive and regular to firmly entrench the new hard-wiring.What else does this mean? Well my theory is this: it gets harder to learn new things as I get older. This old dog is slowly weeding out the useless maps. Thank goodness we have a surplus of neurons to begin with.
Mind Boggling Discoveries - Issue 3

Perceptions are the meat of the issue. These little things are what holds all the networks and hard-wiring together. All our minds are networked with our perceptions? Makes sense, you say. Aha!Ever heard of the saying "What we expect we experience"? This has never been truer than in the world of HW the brain.This whole process of the way we perceive things and how a connection is actually made can be SEEN on an MRI (Brain Matters link). When something is hardwired there is an entire chain of biological responses that can be seen on an MRI. The neurons actually "light up" in response to a connection before we EVEN TAKE ACTION.As a result we pay more attention to what we're expecting. Now if THAT isn't powerful I don't know what is.On a microscopic level this is what happens. Our brain actually (I know I'm saying 'actually' over again but I can't help it) creates a new dendrite. These are the tiny little arm-like tentacles that connect one neuron to another. Little street lamps wired together. These are what the neural maps and networks are physically connected with. So when a new "connection" is being HW we create a new dendrite/connection. With this comes a blast of energy which you can physically feel. Ever had that AHA! moment? You feel excited, energized and ready to take action - inspired so to speak (I am smiling here). Inspiration is a truly physical response to creating a new idea, thought or connection.So what does this mean from a deconstrutionism point of view? Here is where I might get a lot of flack but I agree with Dr. Schwartz and David Rock. Its almost impossible to decontructionism "hardwiring". That's why a conventional psychology doesn't always work. Nothing definitive here. Phew!If you do start to focus on the HW you are going over and over the same connections and maps and embedding the whole behaviour even deeper.Attention physically impacts the brain so you need to be careful how you use it. Just bringing attention to something creates brain matter.Another aspect is: the brain prefers to focus on and solve problems or inconsistencies. It makes the brain fire up like crazy. This is important because "lack of change" IS a problem. Ever been dissatisfied? Unhappy about the way things are? Or just had the deep sense that "something is missing? Your brain is in overdrive baby.
Mind Boggling Discoveries - Issue 2

So is this true?Not really, because it then becomes important to realize what the brain does after that. It also can be quite interesting to understand how you actually physically can "change your mind".Your brain becomes agile in another way. So here are some facts you'll to know.Our mind adores order. So any type of chaos, it will network till the connections are made to create order. Maps that make the most sense or work well with each other are kept. This means a biological preference is given to these maps. Our brain physically strengthens the connections and will eventually weed out (yes remove!) the ones that don't work well. These maps will also compete for physical and mental resources if and when they come into conflict. Confused? Not sure what to think or what do decide? EXACTLY! you got some competition going on upstairs.Because our very environment and experiences creates these maps can you see how unique and individual our brains are at close range? Sure there is placement, in general areas that brain surgeons can rely on but on a minute level our brains are as unique as our fingerprints. Just like we all have hand, joints, muscles, bones, fingers etc but our fingerprints are unique.We all have genes on creating the maps and connections but NONE how we do this an individual.WOW! Hey?So what's next you ask? Well something called "hard-wiring" (HW).HW occurs when something is done repetitively. You can see why we would need this. It would make driving a nightmare! Can you imagine learning how to drive every time you got into your car?It also means anything done 2-3 times is HW. You heard right. Not the old stand-by of 21 days, just two or three times. But you must be conscious when you are doing "it". After it's HW you can become unconscious again. So if you want to create a habit, be careful of what you ask for.Another interesting tidbit is that the working memory can only hold 7 ideas at a time. So you can see why talking on a cell phone might be a tad dangerous while driving. hmmmm how many things is that in my working memory.Because of this limitation we can use another fact. The visual brain works faster and requires less working memory. So does this mean you can watch TV while you drive....uhhhm nope?A good plan, however, is: in order to simplify things it works best to create visual imagery.Hmmm what does this all have to do with anything? Stick with me.
Mind Boggling Discoveres - Issue 1

Here are some things you might not have known.Did you know that when you are born you have all the neural maps set up in your brain? There are general locations like downtown (emotions), communities (senses) and urban areas (behaviour and body functions). They move if there is damage - say if you're in a war and someone bombs downtown. It's not quite the same but it functions.Since there aren't any street signs yet you get to name as you need them. So the first time you are touched, as a baby, you KNOW you are touched. You haven't quite figured out where. You now have an address called "Body Touch". The 2nd and 3rd touch leads you to stick an address right on the house - Let's call it "I was touched on my hand". Every touch thereafter is networked around the first time you were touched. Not only where, but how often, HOW you were touched, the temperature and trillions of other little things you associate with touch.Up until the age of 4 when children suffers strokes or brain injury, which results in physically changing the brain, a child can almost completely recover and re-route almost everything to another section of the brain. Suburbia look out. Some children have been known to lose half their brain and still function.After that age it becomes less agile and easier to do the re-routing. But it is still possible.Another reason they call kids brains "sponges". The child is constantly adding addresses to their neural maps and making interconnections. It comes very easily to them and they don't have to even think about it. Ha Ha - get it?These maps, once created are almost - yes I said almost - impossible to remove. The most effective way to change behaviour is to just change the map. So does it works to keep saying "NO! Don't do that!" Nope. But it is very effective to offer the child something else to do or divert them. You are creating a new map.Groups like La Leche League have always been huge believers in this type of "discipline" or whatever you want to call it. They also believe that offering choices as a diversion is incredibly powerful.And this feeds into the next step of neural maps. These maps REALLY WORK WELL, if the individual has created the new map. This means, they take what they know or what is in front of them and decide what will work best for them. That is why diversion by choice is so effective. Instead of TELLING a child what to do they are given a choice, think about which will interest and excite.

Friday, January 19, 2007

 Workplace Gap

In your workplace, are you a manager with a smart group of people and they aren't responsive to your ideas or suggestions? If you are then you are experiencing a workplace gap

You know where you are at this point in your life but there is a gap between where you are and where you want to be? Sometimes the presence of this gap is so strong you can almost feel like a physical gap. In the case of a workplace gap, the feeling can be just as tangible. You know the people you have working for you are smart and resourceful. That is why you hired them in the first place. But for some reason you can’t seem to “manage” them. They run into difficulties and you don’t know how to help them. When you try, they seem distant, frustrated and just a bit annoyed that you are “bugging”them. You can't seem to move them from Point A to Point B. There is a gap at the workplace and you are stuck in the middle of it.

You gathered all sorts information, knowledge, skills and tools throughout the years to help you out with this. You took courses, asked a mentor and perhaps even have a degree in some area. It’s as if you were given all the information of a particular culture, went for a visit and found out that you ended up in the wrong country. When did all the rules changes?
I personally believe that the role of the manager has completely shifted and changed with the explosion of available knowledge. Anyone can access any information they need to do whatever they want. Sometimes this is a good thing and sometimes this is not so good.

Let’s take a look at the “good” part. I’m here to tell you, that your role as a manager has changed drastically. So much has changed that to even call yourself a manager is a huge misnomer. I’ve coached several people to the point where they eventually say, “Well really, I’m not a manager anymore, am I.” And of course they are right. If anyone can get any information to do what they need and want to do, do they even need a manager? I think they need a leader in the workplace. Not just any leader either. There are lots of models out there of what a leader is and hers/his characteristics. I believe, in the workplace there is only one thing a leader needs to do and that is create an atmosphere of inspiration.

What would it be like to work in a place where the staff comes in to the office and they are excited, inspired and motivated to make things work? What would it be like to be the leader of such a group? How would your day go and what would you do?

The first thing you need to know, as a leader, is that all you have to do is ask the right questions. The right questions are the ones that cause inspiration and excitement in your staff. This means you no longer have to think up the answers of how to solve their problems. You hired these people because the ARE smart. They already know the answers to most of the places where they get stuck. When you ask the right questions it gives them the power to come up with their own answers.

How does it feel when you know you need to talk to an employee about performance? Not a pleasant feeling. You might end up telling them they are falling behind and guess what? They already know that. You might end up suggesting a few ways to deal with the problem and guess what? If they are as smart as you say they are they probably already know all this, might have tried it and it doesn’t work. Can you feel the annoyance and frustration building up? I’m not even there and I can feel the tension.

Or you might suggest something and you can tell by their response that they “just aren’t buying it” as a solution to what the problem is. Again there is tension. Again it hasn’t resolved anything but has created a source of conflict.

What if you ask the right question, and there is a pause followed by, “Yes, but I don’t know what to do about that?” Then and only then its okay to offer a suggestion and when you offer it be prepared. Because they might not like the method exactly as you suggested OR you might have sent them off on a search to find their own answer. Or better yet they might even create a whole new solution to the problem. Can you feel the difference in the atmosphere? There’s a tension there but it’s a good and exciting tension. This kind of tension is inspiration and inspiration is all they need to feel motivated and to create a sense of flow in the solution.

So my questions to you are:
1) How often do you feel this tension, as a manager
2) How important to you, is it, that you change this?
3) How committed to a change are you?

If any of these questions causes a slight rise in your breathing and you start to feel a glow of excitement, I might’ve just asked you the right questions.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Is there really such a thing as Procrastination?
     Here I am on my band wagon again. I had a client ask me if I thought they were procrastinating. Why is it we have to have labels of who we are and what we do?
     What is my answer to the client? Well I said,” No”.
     I mean, there is something stopping them from doing what they want to finish off. Most likely, when I run out of steam, I’ve lost my inspiration or sense of “flow” in what I was doing. OR I’m terrified of what will happen. Will I succeed or fail or worse, what if I don’t WANT to succeed. Reasons, reasons, reasons.
     It’s what I do for a living. You know how you decide you want to move from Point A to Point B. There is a gap there. You fill it up with information, knowledge, skills tools, advice, and step by step procedure on how to fill that gap and walk over to the other side. I like to stir up that gap and let all those reasons float to the top.
     If you have “bought into” or actually bought a product or service, you have if from the best authority that these steps of skills and tools are guaranteed to work. There are all sorts of testimonials saying it works. You are all excited because THIS is the moment. This is when you get to where you want to go. It doesn’t matter what Point A or Point B is. It could be you’re overweight and you want to be slim. It could be your relationship is on a downward spiral and you want to get it back to where it was. It could even be you want your business to make more money, get more clients. It doesn’t really matter what it is. You have all this knowledge and you’re “procrastinating”.
     I am more interested in how it feels. I’m more interested in how often you think about this. How committed are you to getting from point A to B. Because really, I have not clue what will work for you. I have nothing that follows a direct line from A to B with all the steps outlined for you.
     I don’t have a plan of attack because I don’t know what works for you. I assume you are an intelligent human being that is dissatisfied with something in your life. What I do know is your whole life is a set of experiences and events that have shaped the way your mind thinks and operates around your behavior. It’s how you perceive what is happening to your life.
     So, if anything it’s not really procrastination that is stopping you. More likely it’s just your brain misfiring. It gets all excited about taking new action but the steps, skills and tools just don’t click with how your mind thinks and works. Remember all those testimonials? Well that step by step process you just bought into worked for them because it fit in nicely with how their brain is hardwired. It works for them and because their brain “likes” the whole process it allows that person to stay inspired, keep up the excitement and maintain the flow to reach their goal.
     Your brain, on the other hand, just doesn’t work that way and it misfires. You come screaming to a halt. It immediately makes up all these reasons about why you can’t proceed or just plain old: don’t feel like it. Your brain doesn’t have a connection with the whole process. It just doesn’t ring true for you.
     Where does the excitement come from? It comes back to that idea about perceptions. It could be a million things that get you excited. Your excitement is as unique to you as a fingerprint. But it isn’t sustainable.
     However, a more immediate issue is, “What do I do now?. You’ve got this process you’re not excited about any more. If you’ve invested money, my best suggestion is to make the process your own. If you have a way of doing things that really gets your juices flowing then do it.
Does art bring things alive for you? Then do some drawing of how you want to work it out. Do you need to make short term goals and work towards them? Then set it up that way.
     I’ve got tons of assessment tools that I try out myself before I suggest the use to a client. It is a rare occasion that I even suggest this. In every case I have changed how I use it. How do I know when I’m going to have to change it? Well my first clue is that it feels like someone is “telling me how to do something”. I’m a relatively intelligent person and I don’t often need to be told HOW to do something. Its often reminds me of my parents telling me what I can and cannot do. In fact if there is a written comment that I can use the assessment IF I don’t change it in any way when I use it…I hear my dad’s voice in the back of my head.
     When I hear that voice I will allow a client to try it out but tell them to change it in any way that feels more comfortable to them. That is IF I even use the assessment.
     An example would be a tool I use to determine “values”. What an overused word with a myriad of meanings. This again is another topic for a future article.
I often tell people it really is just a tool to play around with to find out what they are passionate about. It really tells them the elements of their personality. I go through the assessment and ask them how they think they would change that step of the process to reflect who they are and how they think and behave. By the time we are finished they have created a whole new tool and then they are excited about getting down to business.
     The bottom line is to create your own process. It doesn’t mean you have to start from scratch. There are many products and services that you can start with and many of them are free at your local library. Cut and paste away and create what works for YOUR mind.






 

Thursday, October 19, 2006

To Goal or not to Goal. That is the Question!



I got into a discussion about the importance (or non-importance) of goal-making. It was inspired by an article I read at http://www.goalfree.com/?page_id=241 . Not inspired in the way you might think but inspired to have a provocative conversation about it.

I asked my partner what he thought about goals first. I was curious to hear what someone else had to say about it. His comment: if I lived my life committed to goals, then what happens to the journey of life. If I was so attached to creating and following a goal then what happens when “life happens”? Would I be so attached to my desired outcome that I would have blinders on about what was happening around me?

So I thought about that. For example what if I had a goal to be making a living, by the end of this year, through my coaching practice? If I had a crisis in my family would I put blinders on and adhere to what my goal was? If I was so focused on creating the business would I miss out on going for a walk when the sun happens to shine? Now this is a distinct possibility. When we have winter, it rains or is overcast for days on end. Then bang we get a sunny day. Would I want to be stuck indoors?

That was only one goal. What if I created goals around most of my life? What if I wanted to lose weight and I made a goal about that? Would I beat myself up if I enjoyed myself at a party? How about the difference between losing weight and actually creating a healthy lifestyle? Would it make more sense to just take each moment of my life and decide to make a healthy choice about what to do? Here comes that sunny day walk!

What my partner was saying was: I could get so attached to all my goals; I would miss out on what actually happens in my life. Okay I understand that. But on the other hand what about the benefits of goals? I mean I would completely lack direction and get nowhere without some type of direction. Do goals have some sort of use? So I asked my partner his take on this.

It dovetailed with what I was starting to think. Yes goals have their uses. It all depends on the importance of the outcome.

When it comes to creating a goal, really analyze why the goal is necessary. Losing weight can be of great importance if your doctor says your life is at risk. However it might be more useful to make a goal which includes creating a healthy lifestyle on a daily basis.

Paying off a debt can be important if it means the difference between declaring bankruptcy or not. But maybe a more useful goal would include: to become more money conscience.

I think, what these two goals have in common, is that they take place in the present. What I mean is that the goals cause me to live in the present moment.In both cases, decisions I make are daily and based on what the journey of my life happens to look like that day.

Am I faced with fixing my car? It may be an unexpected expense but if I can’t get to work then how will my finances look? To be more money conscious so that I have the extra money to deal with unexpected expenses….well that makes much more sense. I can make decisions, daily or moment to moment, on how I spend my money every time I open my wallet.

I really like the idea I came up with. I’ve been reading (yes another book) written by Tony Buzan: The Mind Map Book. Now that is MY idea of creating a really cool goal. Not only is it fun and intuitive, it uses your brain the way it was meant to be used. Like the coaching style I use, it creates inspiration which is a powerful concoction and leads to permanent change. I got my copy of his book at the local library and any of the on-line bookstores carries it.



So to have goals or not is not really the question at all. How we use goals and what kind of tools and skills we use to create the goals is a more flexible path to: permanent change.



 

Friday, September 15, 2006

No Such Thing as Life Balance
Yes, you read it right. I don’t believe there is such a thing as Life Balance. I think someone in the Personal Growth Industry made the term to label what people were feeling. They felt better about having a label.
What I think is that there is no such thing. Life is not about balance BUT life has everything to do with relationships. Relationships with your partner, spouse, children, family, work, business, friends, colleagues, co-workers, employees, staff and most importantly YOURSELF are the meat of life.
I can’t even begin to imagine what any of these relationships look like for everyone I run into. I can’t even begin to understand how they work for everyone. This is a story about why.
I went on a journey to discover what made me “tick”. It was a long one. Personal Development courses taught me to explore who I was and what I Value. I created all sorts of goals around my values, did the work, got the skills and then sank in the water.
I started to think it was an issue with motivation. No. I was always motivated to change what I was doing. I took tons of courses promising me: life balance, a changed life, and a new way of doing things, goal setting. None of it seemed to last. Oh it did for some people but not me.
Was there something wrong with me? I went on a quest for some inspiration and found what I was looking for. I learned how an inspiration worked, how to take that energy and channel it into motivation and created a ton of Flow in my life.
Did I have to explore my life balance? No. Did I have to rearrange my life so it was in balance? No. What meant balance to me was not the same as what it meant to someone else. What my experiences, upbringing, values and perceptions indicated to me, in a sort of relentless way was: Life balance had a special meaning to me. It had nothing to do with a balancing act at all. It had everything to do with my relationships. It had everything to do with a holistic lifestyle that was unique to me as my fingerprints.
Yes sometimes a model or method clicked with me but never exactly. I found that being INSPIRED by an idea to create my own way was the most powerful way for me to change. I found that it was not only the idea of relationships that created the life I wanted but the time I WANTED to spend on each relationship, HOW I spent the time and even WHY I wanted to, was so important and unique to me alone.
No one could have possibly told me what that would all look like. Only I knew the answer and only I could be inspired to make it that way.
So how is it that some of these things really work? I mean how do you explain the testimonials? I think that the relationship maps every one of those people had, in their minds, about what it was the worked for them made the idea, technique or program work for that person. What the testimonials never do say, however, is how that individual adapted what they used to “fit” in with what inspired them in the first place.
I think they were inspired and THAT is what made the difference. Not WHAT they used to get what they wanted but HOW they used it.
Personally the people I run across are all pretty smart people. They just needed a nudge to think different and create a revolution in their own mind. That’s what I like about what I do.